Superdad or Superdud: The Affirming Father

God the Father verbally expressed his unconditional love for his son Jesus. One of the main roles a Father plays is to give his children identity and security. Fathers should affirm their children at every stage of life. Affirm them in their boyhood and girlhood, in their teens, and as men and women.

At each of my son’s annual birthday parties, I make a point  of giving a one-minute speech to the birthday boy. I do it in front of the friends and parents at the party and affirm and encourage him in his life. Then, I get Ashleigh and the other brothers to do a short speech also, even just a couple of sentences.

Here’s the point: it is no good thinking it: you’ve got to say it. And like the Heavenly Father, whilst you can of course encourage and commend your kids for their good deeds, the power of true fatherly affirmation lies in that it affirms the child of the father’s unconditional love. Think about it: Jesus had not done any fancy miracles yet, He had just lived an unknown, “normal” life as a carpenter. And yet, His Heavenly Father was totally in love with him just because He was His Son. We love our kids because they are our kids, not because they behave well.

Inspire them with a sense of destiny for their lives

Tell your kids that they are special. Tell them that amidst the seven billion people alive today, they are the only person with their fingerprints. Tell them that God has a role for them on earth that no one else can play.

When I was 20, I couldn’t afford to get into a presentation given by the Australian entrepreneur and public speaker Peter J Daniels, but I managed to get hold of the recording and I listened to it again and again. What most caught my imagination was the part where, in his rough Aussie drawl, he told how he once decided to find out what it was that made the Great, great. So he read 1,500 biographies and autobiographies, and found that the common denominator was that they all had a strong sense of destiny.

He told us of Thomas Cook on who’s gravestone was written ‘he left nothing unattempted’, of Orwell and Wilbur Wright who, whilst their Dad was preaching “Man will never fly…’tis only the realm of angels”, were in the barn out back building the first aeroplane. He told us of Columbus who discovered the New World…and did the whole thing on borrowed money. He told us of young Billy Graham out in the fields with his friends under the stars one night; as Billy lay face down in the wet grass praying earnestly, those closest to him could hear him say ‘Oh God let me do something great for you. Let me do something great.’ Ruth Graham, his wife, would later say that one of the things that attracted her to Billy was his sense of destiny. Help your children get used to the idea that they have been created for high things. Impart a sense of destiny deep into their young hearts.

Inspire them with a sense of destiny for their future families

Another part of creating an atmosphere in the home conducive to happiness and obedience is to give your children a sense of destiny for their own families into the future. We often say to each of our sons things like “your wife is going to be so lucky because you’re so kind (or ‘cuddly’ or ‘strong’)” or, “I can tell that you are going to be a great Dad…do you think that you will have sons or daughters?”